Killer Elmo doll might just be a great toy

Killer Elmo

Tickle Me Elmo dolls rank as one of my most hated things on the planet. Elmo, for that matter, must be my most hated muppet of all time. Nothing beats drum-busting Animal and those grumpy old men as my favorite muppets. Oh yeah, and the Evil Bert is sort of cool too (in a very sick kind of way).

Me and my high school barkada always wanted to make a short film featuring a Tickle Me Elmo doll and “induce” some Chucky streak into it. But alas, seven years after, we never got around to doing it. And today, you have a lot of variations of the blasted Tickle-Me-Elmo doll. You have the Tickle Me Elmo Extreme or TMX, which is, to me, is an X-rated version. And what’s up with that Hokey Pokey Elmo that shakes like Beyonce’s getting her groove on.

But this one, I just might like. A killer Elmo.

Yeah, this one programmable Elmo Knows Your Name doll making death threats.

A Lithia family says a cuddly, programmable Elmo doll revealed its dark side yesterday after fresh batteries were installed.

Instead of singing songs or reciting the favorite color of its 2-year-old owner, James Bowman, the doll started making death threats, the family says.

With a squeeze of its fuzzy belly, the Sesame Street character now says, in a sing-song voice, “Kill James.” “It’s not something that really you would think would ever come out of a toy,” said Melissa Bowman, James’ mother. “But once I heard, I was just kind of distraught.”

Oh well. That’s what you can probably get when you have demented people somewhere in the chain of production-to-retail. These dolls can be programmed through a computer and some joker is surely to have messed with it.

Anyway, I think I want one. Or maybe I’d buy one then I’d program them to say those crunchy cuss words like “P*tang ina mo, *insert name here*!” then it would cackle in a Romy-Diaz-as-Satan kind of laugh. Then give them to little kids and thus breed yet another generation of demented kids.

Yey!

Author: Alex

After working as a corporate monkey for two years, he broke free, settling for a sedentary life as a problogger and web content consultant. He spends most of his waking hours in a zoo in hopes of getting back to his roots somewhere in the jungle. For more about Alex, visit The Construct by Alex Maximo

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